21 Things I Learned in 21 Years

You may have seen on Instagram, but Saturday was my 21st birthday.. and I wasn't even in the US to celebrate it! That's the weirdest thing about living in Trinidad half the year: all the big America-important moments are usually spent at home, where they don't even matter. I mean, yes, my birthday mattered. But 21 in Trinidad is just another birthday - I've been legal since 18 here, so it wasn't really that big of a deal. I still celebrated like it was though, because come August I'm officially a free woman who gets to hit up all the local bars and clubs (legally), and I couldn't be more excited!

I was thinking about my 21 years, and realized I've learned a lot more lessons than I even realized, so I started writing a list of things I learned throughout the years. I didn't mean to share this at all, just started scribbling in a notebook one night, and next thing you know, I'm here typing it all up. Funny how life works sometimes.

1 // it's okay to make mistakes. I think that's the biggest misconception of our generation: we strive to be perfect and we think of mistakes as failures. Mistakes are only failures if you don't learn anything from them.

2 // being lonely might terrify you, but it might also make you so much stronger, make you leave your comfort zone, and make you fall completely in love with the experience around you.  

3 // take risks - i can't say this one enough, but what's the point of living life if you don't actually live it.

4 // not every job you take is going to be "the job", sometimes the best thing you can take away from a job is that it's just not for you - there's no greater gift than that.

5 // don't just discover your strengths, learn your weaknesses too - and try to find a way to fix them.

6 // it's okay to be single. Quite frankly, it's when you're single that you learn the most about yourself. You should never depend on someone else to be your happiness.. find that happiness yourself. And hold onto good friends who will never make you feel lonely a day in your life.

7 // know when to ask for help, and more importantly, know when to accept help. Accepting help isn't defeat, it's just smart.

8 // if you're mad at somebody, tell them. Any friendship worth saving deserves open and honest communication. Passive-aggressive texts and sub-tweets aren't going to get you anywhere.

9 // time heals all: you're not going to be crying about that heartbreak or that one friend you lost a year from now. It gets better!

10 // (on that note) it's okay to cry! Anytime, anywhere, everywhere. On a train, on a plane, all alone or with your friends. (I've done them all, whoops!)

11 // always make time for family - and cherish every moment with them while you can. And family doesn't always refer to blood, friends can become family in an instant - never take them for granted just because you don't share the same last name.

12 // don't under-estimate the power of a little black dress and a big smile. Even in your worst of days, fake it til you make it!

13 // if you have to lie about it, then it's probably not a good idea. Listen to your gut.. it knows you better than you do!

14 // going through a tough time will show you who's really there for you - take note. Don't ignore this or make excuses for them. Find those that are there for you and hold onto them.

15 // if you use it regularly, it's not a waste of money. No matter the price, if you're going to use it at least once a week, it's worth the investment. I say this about a $50 scarf, a $200 pair of shoes or splurging on a fancy camera. Know yourself. If you won't use it more than once, you just spent $200 on a pair of shoes. If you use it 200 times, you spent $1.

16 // learn how to say thank you and keep saying it. Nothing is more important than showing your gratitude - to your family, friends, and to the stranger who held the door for you.

17 // never regret anything if it once made you happy, no matter how bad the break up or how terrible the outcome turned out to be.

18 // a great idea is just an idea until you follow through with it. It's the implementation that makes it great, not the idea.

19 // never apologize unless you mean it: there's nothing worse than an insincere apology.

20 // how someone treats you says a lot about that person, how you react says even more about you.

21 // never be afraid to laugh at yourself. Or with some friends. Laughter truly is the best medicine.. #cliche but true!