January 14, 2016

January and February Goals

We're officially two weeks into January, but I decided I would share a few of my goals for the year with you all. 2016 is well underway and I've been trying to keep up with my resolutions. What do I want to do this year? Make smart financial decisions, work and grow the blog, grow out and stop biting my nails, start investing in a good wardrobe, eat healthier and work out, and figure out what I'm doing after graduation.
(Side note: if you have any tips to help a girl stop biting her nails, tweet me! I quit cold-turkey and it's been painful so far!) 

I figured instead of just tackling my goals all at once, I would break them down month by month. Although we're two weeks into January, I'm confident I can complete the goals for this month. I figured I would extend it to include my February goals. Instead of 5 goals, I'm sharing ten: 5 per month. Let's get started!

blog at least once a week // I have to admit I kind of dropped the ball in 2015 with the blog and I would go weeks without updating. I'm trying my best to stop that in 2016, and I'm making a realistic goal of blogging once a week to ensure that I'm not going too long without blogging.

post to Instagram consistently // Ever since I separated my personal account from my blog account on Instagram, I've been forgetting to switch back and forth. Honestly, Instagram should have a feature like Twitter where you can switch accounts really easily, without having to log out and log back in. It's a pain in the butt! But I've been trying my best since I've been on Christmas break to post consistently and grow my following, so I want to continue when I'm back at school and throughout the year. Are you following me?

workout at least three times a week // My sister's wedding is coming up, so obviously I need to make sure I look fantasticcc in my Maid of Honor dress. While working out is supposed to be about physical health and feeling good, I realistically am planning to work my butt off so that my butt looks fabulous! Ya feel me?

stick to a budget // Especially as a senior, money tends to fly out of your hands in college. Between weekly Chipotle visits and the fact that I cannot not buy clothes if I love them, I tend to blow through my budget quicker than I'd like. This year I plan to make responsible financial choices, and that starts with creating and sticking to a budget, and maybe not spending all my cash (or at least reducing the cash I take with me) when I go to the bar.

land a NYFW internship // I was lucky enough to work with a PR firm for NYFW in the Fall and work some of the coolest shows, so I'm determined to do the same this year. I've already applied to various companies and hopefully I'll be able to return to the city for fashion week this year. (Side note: any companies want to send me as blogger coverage? I'll take it!)

fully clean my apartment once a week // I'm talking head to toe. I get my bathroom cleaned once a week, which I am so lucky for, but my room goes through phases of being spotless and then looking like a hurricane blew through it. A friend in a class last semester told me that he does this thing called "Management Monday" where he spends every Monday getting his shit together, and I think I might steal that idea this year. This semester, I don't have class until 3pm on Mondays, so I definitely need to stay motivated and clean up once a week.

read two books in my spare time // Two books doesn't sound like a lot, and it really isn't for me.. but when I'm in school, I barely have time to read my textbooks so finding time to read two books before in my spare time will be a challenge, but it's my perfect escape!

eat healthier (and don't cheat!) // I'm trying my best to get my act together this year, and that starts with eating healthy and actually sticking to it!

make my bed every morning // I hate to say it, but I roll out of bed and don't have time to make it up before I leave for class or work more often than I'd like to admit. In the next two months, I want to make my bed every day before I leave my room for the day.. or at least week days! I can't promise weekends!

finish my grad school applications // I need to commit to them and sit down and write my personal statement and other essays. Due to the nature of the programs I'm applying for, most of my applications require a lot of writing and portfolio work and I need to compile everything and finally submit them. Fingers crossed!

Do you have goals that you break down month-by-month? How do you suggest I complete these? 

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January 06, 2016

An Open Letter to All The Shit I Don't Have Together

I don't usually curse in my blog posts, and especially my titles, so I'm sorry I'm starting it off like this, but do you ever feel like you're just a lost cause? That's how 2016 felt for me. I know, I know.. it hasn't even been a week, but 2016 started like no other. And I mean it when I say it.

Dear Shit,

How are you? Are you having a good year? I hope so, because mine certainly didn't start that way. You see, at 10pm on New Year's Eve, as I snapped one more selfie and threw on my heels on my way out the front door, I decided to check my email. I had two in my inbox: one from J.Crew wishing me a Happy New Year (really sweet of them actually..), and the other from a company I had applied to for a job only a couple of days before. It wasn't a good one. Yes, at 10pm on New Year's Eve, I received my first ever job rejection. What a great way to start the night, don't you think?

I couldn't help feeling shaken up. I mean, here I am, all made up, contour on point and dressed head to toe in sparkles (it was NYE, ya feel me?!), and I just got rejected from a job. Funny how life is huh.. you would know about that. It was a job I actually really wanted. One I kind of maybe thought I could get. But I didn't..

But it's fine. I faked a smile, downed a glass or two of champagne and rang in the New Year happy and surrounded by my closest family and friends. But could you blame me for feeling a little sad deep down inside? I looked around at all the couples kissing and hugging and celebrating the start of a new year, and I just felt so empty. I joined my cousin in the bathroom for touch-ups, and I completely broke down. Yes, at 12:20, I was already sobbing in the bathroom of my New Year's Eve party, mascara running down my face like a re-run of an episode of The Hills (you know the one..). I couldn't control myself. I felt like I didn't have my shit together.

Yep, here we are, not even half hour into 2016, and the year's already won. 2016:1, Caroline: 0. How?! I didn't understand! I mean, I'm a good person. I'm even kind of an over-achiever sometimes when I want to be. I couldn't help but wonder, where the hell was my shit? You hear me? Where were you, shit? Where ARE you?

(Yes, those are bedroom slippers I am wearing. Fully embracing 2016!)

Now I can't be the only one feeling this way, right? I figure, there are millions of college students all over the world, and not all of them have you together.. right? All Christmas break, I'd get asked, "so Caro, you're graduating in May, what are your plans?" and apparently "crying and/or throwing up" isn't an appropriate response. So, shit.. what are my plans?

Just take a scroll through Instagram, shit. People all over the world have you together, all nicely lined up. I mean, there are people getting engaged (vom), people signing contracts for jobs (double vom) and even worse, people actually consistently doing Kayla's Bikini Body Guide.. I mean you need a whole lot of shit together for that one, am I right?

So why am I the only one who seemingly doesn't have you together? Is there an estimate shit gathering time? But you know what, shit.. I'm not sure I really want you together. I mean how boring would that be?

You see, not having you together means I'm allowed to screw up. And more importantly, I'm allowed to learn from these screw ups. I'm allowed to drink too much at the bar, fail that test and wear the same pair of jeans three days in a row. I'm allowed to pretend box wine is real wine and calories from Chipotle don't count. I'm allowed to date the wrong people and secretly wish for the right one. I'm allowed to spend too much time choosing a filter on Instagram and send obnoxious snaps to my best friend. I'm allowed to do all of this because I'm 21 years old.

I don't know when the world expected everyone to have you together and be adults by the time we're actually "adult" age. I blame the rise of Pinterest and perfectly crafted photos and lives, but I love Pinterest too much so maybe not. So I may not be able to cook a five-course meal (or even a one-course meal for that matter), I may not go to the gym every day or drink 8 glasses of water a day, I may not be able to match my eyeliner on both eyes like ever. But I'm trying.

All I know is that maybe my twenties are meant to live and to learn, and just maybe having my shit together isn't a part of the plan.

And I'm way better for it.

See you on the other side.

Your shitshow friend,

(Photo courtesy Jenn Geitzen and Write On! Design)

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